I think my favorite aspect of the Hades II announcement is the idea that, somewhere in the underworld, a very thunderstruck Zagreus is demanding, “What do you MEAN, I have a sister?!”
Hades is a game about found family. As in, Zagreus keeps finding out about new family members no one told him about.
me when we start eating billionaires and i have to kill gomez addams
Gomez and Morticia, telling us where they store the spare guillotines so we can go after Jeff Bezos after we finish with them.
Look, I know we don’t want to admit that our heroes can be flawed, but this isn’t just people baselessly picking a rich person and saying they’re a billionaire.
Don’t hold back. Gomez will respect the revolutionary fire burning in your heart!
The Addams would bring the guillotines for the other billionaires, give away literally all their money and then still ASK for executions because it’s been so long since they had a good beheading in the family
honestly, you’d break his heart if you said you WEREN’T planning on sticking his head in a guillotine. morticia, too. they’d be upset at the special treatment, too, but mostly they really want to be executed gruesomely as they stare lovingly into each other’s eyes as their heads are separated from their bodies, and we need to respect that.
In most versions of the Theseus myth, he dumps her literally/figuratively on the island of Naxos, Dionysus’s sacred island and sails back to Athens without her. The next day Dionysus is like “Hey beautiful castaway, I notice you’re living in a lean-to in my backyard, want to get married just a fuck you to Theseus?” and is faithful to her for the rest of her life.
When Athenians told the story, because they wanted to make their hometown boy look good, they say Dionysus actually demanded her as tribute for safe passage back to Athens…but I prefer to believe Dionysus is the patron of the fake/revenge dating that becomes real romance trope
My condolences to Ryan Reynolds, who managed to get Hugh Jackman back as Wolverine and kept it a secret for who knows how long, and when he finally told the world was immediately overshadowed by internet “i love my wife” man’s dick wandering into places it shouldn’t.
Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm’s worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you’re towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you
As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me
(*in fact you do not swerve because you’re on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)
What kind of oomph are they putting into that little towing dohickey that it can haul a couple thousand pounds, and why not just put that power into the Camry
I’ve told you about my pathetic sad vampire but I want to make a vampire OC that is truly ancient with an unstoppable lust for life. A vampire who was born during the Iron Age and has witnessed the rise and fall of civilizations and embraces technology and tries to fit in in every era. A vampire who almost died trying to drive a car for the first time in 1893. A vampire who got extremely excited when houses got electricity and he could experience a truly brightly lit room for the first time in thousands of years. A vampire who uses the internet but in a grandma on Facebook way and can’t quite grasp it. A guy who is visibly 20 something but definitely didn’t grow up in the cool math games iPod shuffle era but you don’t think he was raised in a sheltered religious household because he’s very socially liberal and he knows nothing about the Bible. Vampire that buys his victims new party drugs before he sucks their blood so he can experience them too. Vampire who is 5’5” which was a completely normal height for a guy when he was turned 3000 years ago but is short for a modern man and he hasn’t quite realized he’s a manlet yet. Vampire who’s truly ancient but not in a mystically wise sad way, guy who never just never stops partying.
sleeping when it’s cold: deepest peace imaginable, opportunity to bury yourself in blankets and indulge in the ancient mammalian instinct to curl up and sleep somewhere warm and dark and enclosed, instant and dreamless rest
sleeping when it’s even slightly warm: torturous, only options are kicking off blankets and feeling horribly exposed or laying in your own sweat, impossible to get comfortable, exhausting and demoralizing sisyphean task
hyrule castle floating higher off the ground every time link does a silly side quest instead of defeating The Evil.. somehow link ends up higher in the sky
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